leek-swinging redhead (gatogurl) wrote,
leek-swinging redhead

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Nuuu~! Didn't update yesterday-- broke my streak of updating once a day all month :(. Oh well, I'll have to try again next month.

Went to careers night at school.

It's starting to look like ANU [Australian National University] is going to be my best choice. In Canberra. Canberra. (For non-Australians, let me clarify: not only is Canberra a hole, it is a freaking cold hole.) But that's provided I can get in, anyway. Their have a higher standard for the course I want to do than their equivalents at other unis.

Anyway, even if I end up not going/being able to go to ANU, I'll still have to pay for on-campus accomodation, no matter which uni I go to. (At this point, it's looking like a toss up between ANU, UNSW: COFA [University of New South Wales: College of Fine Arts] and Sydney Uni (in that order). The latter two, whilst not being in bloody CANBERRA, are still a great distance away from where I live by public transport. (Lets face it: I'm not getting a car any time soon. And even if I were, it's STILL a great distance by car-- just longer by public transport. It would involve at least two buses and a heckuva long train ride.)

And Macquarie Uni, whilst being close to where I live, is completely out of the question.

So! It looks like any way we have it, it's going to be on-campus accomodation.

Which, of course, sent my mother into an uproar. (Would it kill her to be supportive of her daughter for a change? I suppose it must, since she's never done it. I think she's trying to take her money to the grave with her, and Dad's too. Okay, fine, I accept that she won't give me financial aid, that's fair. But telling Dad what he can and can't do with his money? It's not her money in the first place! It's so outrageous, the way he lets her bully him.)

Mother thinks I should stay at home for the next four years of my life, never growing up, never becoming independant, always staying "her little girl", staying in this SOCIAL HOLE of a suburb which HAS NOTHING, except EXPENSIVE HOUSES AND RICH OLD FARTS IN THEM. HA HA HA. NOT BLOODY LIKELY. The only conversations we ever have these days are ARGUMENTS. She insists on controlling every aspect of my life! She wants to make all my decisions for me-- to "shield and guide me" of course. If I am not allowed to make my own mistakes and experience life outside of my cosy little home on the North Shore, how does she think I'll cope once she's gone? She's so selfish, argh! Let me just say this:

If I am still in this house by March next year, I want somebody to take a gun to my head and SHOOT ME. PLEASE. BY GOD ALMIGHTY, SHOOT ME. Put me out of my misery.

At any rate, this is what it's looking like right now: since Dad is a sissy who won't cross Mother to lend his daughter financial aid for university (which, I might point out, he gave to his OTHER four daughters-- just because they had a different mother, and he felt guilty about the divorce?!) just because she wants to keep me in the house, the money I was going to use to go to England next year is probably going to end up being used to support me living on campus in uni instead, just so I can GET AWAY from my mother. Actually, after thinking about it, ANU seems quite appealing.

After all, if I can't go to England, at least Canberra is th next closest thing to "far, far away."
Tags: future plans, mother troubles
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